Kathleen Lilly Death – Obituary | Kathleen Lilly Has Died

It is with immeasurable sadness that I share the news that my mother, Kathleen Lilly, passed away unexpectedly on Wednesday morning at her home in Billerica. While my mom had been in declining health recently, and she dealt with a number of health issues over the last few years, her passing came as a shock. My family is devastated, especially my children, Desiree, David and Melanie – who revered “Nana Kathy”. My niece Noel, who is feeling the loss no less keenly, posted a poignant tribute to my mother earlier today. My wife Michelle, who lost her parents when she was in her early 20’s, loved my mother deeply, and was inconsolable when she heard the news. I don’t have the words to express the sadness I am wrestling with, or the realization that I’ll never speak to my mother again. My mother was a teenaged, divorced, single mother long before it was socially acceptable to be any of those things (let alone have an absurd “reality” show glamorizing it). She was an honest-to-god force of nature – dedicated to being the best mom she could; head of the Vining School PTA, Den Mother (Pack 50, Den 6), fearless advocate for her kids at Parent-Teacher conferences, a fixture at every after school event. It wasn’t until I became a parent myself when I started to understand how idyllic my childhood was, and how mightily my mom and grandparents sacrificed to provide it. My sister and I rarely wanted for anything and I lost a lot of sleep trying to live up to the standard they set. Tammy and I were encouraged and loved unconditionally, surrounded by books, and music, and art. PBS and the Red Sox were the only shows on before 7PM (except for Saturday morning cartoons) and we were always told to “go out and play”. We grew up in the same neighborhood my mother and my aunt Patty did, and it wasn’t until we were teenagers that we realized my mom had us under constant surveillance and we had to start hanging out with friends from other parts of Billerica to get away with anything. There were moments, especially in our high school years, when my sister and I tested my mom’s patience. She rarely complained – even when she should have. To my children, and my niece, having a grandmother (and for a few years, a great-grandmother) was truly a gift. Grandparents, in the eyes of their grandchildren, are truly magical. “Nana-Kathy” and “Auntie-Patty” (as my aunt Patty was always known), were almost mystical beings. Wise and fun and cool – they were keepers of family lore, family recipes, and the all the stuff their parents never let them do. My kids cherish memories of sleep-overs at nanas, I wish they had more, and that my grandchildren could have gotten know their nana. I am truly grateful that my mother got to meet her great-grandchildren, Vera and Jack, and that my daughter Melanie got to share the news of her own pregnancy with my mom last week. When I last spoke to her, my mother was overjoyed to know she would be a great-grandmother again. My sister Tammy, my cousin Jamie and I, have lost the last living connection to our childhood, and a world that is so removed from the mess were all stuck in today, that it doesn’t seem real. While we take our time sorting through the vestiges of our mothers life, the love and support from family and friends that has started trickling in means more than I can say. In accordance with her wishes, my mother will be cremated (in an urn she picked out, and said was “pretty”). Future arrangements are to be determined, but we hope to have a celebration of her life in the near future. Although I know better, I always thought we would have more time. Call your parents, it only takes a minute. If you have children, I beg you, let them spend as much time with their grandparents as they can, they will thank you for it later. Ma, I already miss you more than words can say. Thank you for everything, I hope I made you proud.