The high costs of marriage in various countries, including the Kingdom, have become a huge burden on young people about to get married, especially those with limited incomes. Marriage requirements have become a heavy burden that makes many soon-to-marry shun the idea of engagement, because they are unable to meet the requirements, and because the burdens of marriage are more burdensome than they thought. The problem of high dowries and the high costs of marriage is one of the most serious problems that young people in particular suffer from, and leads to reluctance or delay in the age of marriage for both sexes. A statistic issued last year on the costs of marriage in the Kingdom, according to regions, revealed that the Hail region is the lowest in marriage costs. One thousand riyals), and the lowest cost governorates are Khamis Mushait (40 thousand riyals), followed by Al-Qunfudhah governorate (45 thousand riyals).
Luxury and appearances
A number of young people believe that the main reason is not following the Sunnah with regard to the issue of marriage and dowries. They told Okaz that they live in a paradox because they are called celibate on the one hand, and exaggerated dowries on the other hand.
Hind Al-Shammari says: The groom’s morals are the most important thing to focus on, and the solution is to stay away from luxury and waste in wedding supplies such as cars and wedding halls, and other things that raise the costs of marriage, while paying attention to the groom’s morals, and avoiding thinking about material matters, as the Prophet, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him He commanded us to do so.
In the same way, Saad Al-Otaibi blames social media for a major role in the high costs of marriage due to the large number of luxury manifestations that spread on the platforms, which makes girls subconsciously criticize behind appearances and seek to imitate them as much as possible. The costs become exorbitant with the progress of time and the spread of social media.
Obaid Al-Shammari agrees with the previous opinions, stressing that the reason for the reluctance is due to adherence to the old customs and traditions that people follow with regard to marriage rituals, even if it is at the expense of themselves. “Marriage has become a dilemma, and young people are no longer able to do that until after the age of 30, and there are many problems.” It results in calamities and social disasters »
Muhammad al-Mismar says that the phenomenon of increasing the age of marriage is increasing, and the average has risen to 30 years, and for girls the average age of marriage has become 27 years. He believes that reducing the costs of marriage is beneficial for both parties, as the husband does not enter into a marital life full of debts and requirements, as a result of wedding costs, which are often the cause of marital problems, and most of the reasons for delaying marriage are due to the excessive requirements of the parents and customs and traditions that impose high dowries. .
The solution is in the hands of the parents
Abdullah Al-Baqawi, a specialist in sociology and family, believes that the exaggerated costs of marriage make the husband suffer from financial pressures accompanied by social and psychological pressures, and this contributes to the accumulation of debts and the husband’s inability to spend on the house, which may lead to problems between the spouses. Unfortunately, in our time the dowries have risen exaggeratedly, and in the past our ancestors used to marry off their daughters with symbolic dowries, and they said that we should buy a man, but today everyone complains about the high cost and costs of marriage, so young men began to marry from abroad, and when we ask them about the reasons, they answer that they cannot marry because of the high costs. And that the dowries are high, and the girls demand imaginary dowries, and today there is no young man who is not indebted.
Al-Baqawi proposes a number of solutions to help reduce these phenomena, as parents must facilitate the conditions of marriage and reduce requests. Reducing requests, not running after appearances, debts and loans.
Flaunt your wedding photos
Meshaal Omar Al-Hadrees calls on the Shura Council to develop practical solutions and proposals to reduce the costs of weddings through a community dialogue in which young people, specialists and stakeholders participate. He said: The culture of comparisons between weddings is entrenched in society, especially among the new generation, with the spread of “social media” and the publication of pictures of parties and weddings, which created a state of comparisons between girls in particular, and the wedding party turned into an opportunity to show off, and the societal view became not about the essence of the wedding, but rather showing off in front of the people.
And Al-Hadiris continued, that facilitating marriage and living is useful in benefiting from the money that is paid in what is of no use, to secure the family’s living future, such as buying assets that benefit the family and its offspring, and move from a modest condition to a better one, and perhaps it is possible to establish a project that generates regular income that they use on burdens. Life, instead of spending on entertainment, becomes a burden to them as soon as they are bought, and they wish to get rid of it. It also works to avoid the burdensome and humiliating debts that bring worry and sadness to the family, and lead to problems between the spouses. In many cases, the spouses may separate before paying off the loans and the furniture of the house.
Gifts for the mourners
A specialist in social work, Meshaal Al-Asmar, calls for the importance of discussing the file of the high costs of weddings, which constitute a large part of the costs of marriage, and the main reason for the high costs is the lavish spending on wedding parties, which burdens those who are about to get married. He noted that many young people believe that they are forced to pay expenses to keep up with the custom of wedding ceremonies, which increases the percentage of young people who are unable to marry, in addition to the high rate of spinsterhood.
He added that exaggerated spending at parties has become associated with gifts that are presented to guests and extravagance in banquets that exceed the numbers of invitees, all of which are money wasted without interest, and extravagance in costs contradicts nature, human values, logic, objectivity, and religion, and the phenomenon can only be treated by changing the culture of society, by referring to the wisdom of The goal of marriage legislation.
My dear daughter, the price is high!
Dr. Al-Othaimeen discusses the dominance of some erroneous ideas that led to an increase in the costs of marriage, such as “my daughter is not like other girls and is not less than others.” In addition, the increase in her costs leads to his adherence to her and not neglecting her or underestimating her value, and the materialistic view of marriage as buying and selling and profit. Material at the expense of the values and principles of marriage and its moral gains. And he confirms that the consequences are the tendency to marry foreign women at the expense of Saudi women, with the absence of social stability among the group of those who are about to get married, whose completion of their marriage faltered due to costs, which led to an increase in the percentage of celibacy and spinsterhood, which, according to a field study in 2022, reached 4 million girls, compared to 1 5.5 million girls in the previous year, which leads to the occurrence of psychological disorders for young men and women, such as repression, depression, anxiety, and a midlife crisis. The burdensome costs of marriage may be a cause of psychological stress and tension in the relationship between the spouses in the future, and disrupt the entertainment component because of the husband’s financial obligations and debts that have been going on for many years. The criterion for choosing a spouse may be based on financial ability, regardless of other considerations such as his ability, willingness, and responsibility. And being a suitable husband in the future psychologically and socially and falling into deviant behavior and satisfying the emotional need with the prohibited and forbidden act.
Wedding at 40
Dr. Khaled Al-Othaimeen, a specialist in psychological counseling and social change, attributed the high costs of marriage to the changes, customs and cultures that contributed to the emergence of a problem and a phenomenon related to exaggeration, which led to the emergence and generation of problems, including: the complexity of marriage and the increase in the costs of preparing for it with material, effort and time, and for a long period that may reach years. .
Al-Othaimeen confirms to "Okaz" that one of the studies monitored that a young man may reach the age of 40 in order to be able to collect the costs of marriage, given its high economic costs and requirements, and the insistence of some families on exaggerating the costs of marriage, exaggeration, and even competition in that. Delaying the age of marriage to a later stage, especially for girls, affects their chances of having children, or forming a family with a smaller size and number than expected due to the delay, with the emergence of social and psychological problems for those about to get married who have been exposed to the circumstance of delay.
Al-Othaimeen adds that the reasons are also due to some families falling into the momentum of social media and its falsity, which created a state of dissatisfaction, dissatisfaction, and drowning in imitation in society, and some even had an association that such exaggerated and false manifestations are the greatest proof of the success of marriage. And the pride and competition between some families in society as an appearance and social prestige reflect the elevation and value of their daughter and her preciousness to them, and the connection of her leaving her father's house with honor and dignity with the value of her precious dowry.
Determine the ceiling .. Is it useful?
Dr. Al-Othaimeen proposes a field move to support and adopt the official authorities for the idea of setting a higher ceiling for dowries and for approval by the relevant authorities. Such as the Ministry of Justice and the Ministry of Human Resources and Social Development, and the focus of the concerned third sector institutions on educating the family through its programs and initiatives and raising the level of awareness of the issue of the costs of marriage for its sons and daughters, and employing the efforts of influential imams, scholars, specialists, educators and influencers in constantly educating society regarding the costs of marriage, and proposing to put Laws control the interventions of social media celebrities in distorting the values and principles of society, especially those related to the demand for marriage and the family, and the establishment of official government electronic platforms to reconcile spouses with specific marriage costs, and the adoption and application of some experiences that were applied in some regions such as the Makkah Al-Mukarramah region.
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