Care….the action that can transform us into the best we can be. When someone cares for you,it gives you a sense of well being which nothing else can replace,you even appreciate yourself more and generally develop a positive atitude to life.
Knowing someone cares gives you a certain kind of mental strength that enables you overcome challenges in view.
Even a stoical man will benefit by care,he may not show it but it ignites an inferno of love in him when he knows his woman true cares for his well being.
True care implies knowing whats best for another and encouraging that person to do it or providing another person need even when s/he has not asked for it as long as its not done with arrogance or done aggressively,it enhances the wel lbeing of the receiver.
We all search for someone to care for us,sometimes our hurt is so deep we keep seeking another to care for us to the extent we to realise those around us who need care from us.
The best part of caring for another is that it creates a strong bond between the receiver and the giver.
Care is one tool with which we can build the strongest kind of relationship,in marriage,dating,ordinary friendship and in social setting.
To care for another,
1- You need to understand what the person needs based on his activity. This is where you have to use deep wisdom as some kind of personality will never tell you what they need even from you,they expect that you should be able to know what they need and provide it for them. There has to be forgiveness here because in some cases these kind of people feel they are bothering you hence they refrain from asking you for what they need. Or bad experience from their past makes them sceptical about asking. Use you wisdom,allow your intuition to guide you. Forgiveness comes by your not judging them but to accept them as they are.
2- Once you know what they want,gently and or diplomatically provide it for them or encourage them to go about doing it. Do not judge them at this point or use abusive langauge why they are uptight about revealing what they need.
For women,an area that they need much understanding and care is when their emotions or monthly hormonal circles put them in the blue. At this point if you are her man,you should not expect her to be lively or like she used to,rather if you know anything that helps to put her in a good mood,do it,she may not tell you to especially if she knows you dont understand such things. This is when you can be her hero.
A typical example for men is the notion women have that men dont even care for themselves. We see this in cases where maybe a man is sick but refuses to go to the hospital believeing that he will get better. This can actually exasperate his woman who cares deeply for him but feels that he is joking with his health. Understanding plays a role here,the woman needs to understand that men do not readily seek help,seeking help makes a man feel weak and naturally men dont like to feel weak. His thought will be like “how can a hero like me be weak”
This is where diplomacy comes in,if you are his woman,you have to gradually make him see reasons why he should go to the hospital. You dont do this from a perspective of “i know whats best for you” , if you do so whether in words or attiude,he will shut down and make it a priority never to go for help so as to offend you for encrouching in privacy. This is start a vicious circle where you increase your aggresion and he will ncrease his resistance.
Men are logical so if you find yourself in a situation like this,use logic to provide him with reasons why a doctor may help him.
Lets create a scene to illustrate this,Mike has a boil that keeps growing bigger as days go by,he has refused to seek medical help,maybe you tried to suggest it and he did not respond positively.
Using logic here can translate to a suggestion like this
“Mike,i know you have a good understanding of boils,if you “decide” to see a doctor,he may improve your knowledge of boils and show you how to manage it more sucexfully ”
If he does not respond positively,don’t press further,leave it for another day. At another day or time,gently bring up the issue with a suggestion but at all times,make him understand that you are ot deciding for him,rather you are encouraging him.
There are so many other minor situations where your associate needs care from you but will not tell you,it can be a colleague at work,a neighbour,a friend or even a passerby. You can always show some care,it does not cost much to care
True care can transform our lives as individuals and as a specie.
Let me relate one thing i saw a long time now, at rumuokwuta junction(in Port Harcourt),there used to be a psycho who roamed the junction,he usually begs passers by money to buy food, ciger and guff. The surprising thing is that whenever he is buying his things,he always buys for one female lunatic who he always carries along with him. Even when they want to cross the road,he makes sure he holds her hand,sometimes you see both of them gisting like lovebirds.
One day i wondered why if this lunatic can care for his type,then how better are we cos av seen men who don’t care one bit about their women. If you don’t care for your woman,the injury in her heart is deeper than the ocean of secrets and believe me,you are not safe with her.
Show some love.
Cheers
